Our Hats Off To The Women Options

[alli_b]

It's sad to see that Hot Sands sincere post had to disolve in to being argumentative...
I believe most women got what he said. I know I did and no where was I offended.

[bebedos]

Hotsands opening post made special note of Ramadan; the preparations and work involved for the women during this month-long observance. I thought he was very gracious to recognize the efforts of the women who made this celebration possible.

I remember when I worked the time and effort I spent in preparing for our Christmas holiday; the gift shopping, the decorating, the menu planning and shopping, the gift wrapping, the tree trimming, the cleaning and meal preparation. I appreciated the acknowledgment of my efforts.

[bluelady]

Hotsands, your acknowledgement of what some women choose to do out of love of home and family, is appreciated.

If appreciation wasn't forthcoming from both partners, my marriage wouldn't have lasted for nearly 50 years. My husband worked 7 days a week for 40 years with two vacations of two weeks during that time. He worked hard, long hours, and still made time for his children and to help around the house.

In exchange, I tossed bales and fed and milked cows when I could. For many years, because of dairy farming, Christmas and New Years family dinners were held here. Sometimes up to 35 people for two meals both days. That wouldn't have been possible without his help. We shared the work.

It always seemed to me that defining one's role in life is very limiting. I never felt I had to do anything, (with the exception of actually giving birth to a son and twin daughters....... no choice there if I wanted children) the rest was by choice.

I am sure many people shook their heads, seeing me & daughters painting house and barn roofs. On the other hand when I was young about 50 plus years ago, it was just as eye opening I am sure to see my husband changing diapers, and bathing kiddies.

It comes down to sharing....... work, and leisure. He would take farm courses & I took carpentry. Worked out well. LOL. I still use all the skills I picked up over the years. Here, some men feel women are too free and independent and some women are still insecure enough to object to anything that appears to be a "serving" role.

My mum always made and served dad tea whenever over and above, all the household chores, including keeping 3 girls under control. With the exception of the youngest, myself and the middle sister were a real handful. He worked 6 days, 10 hours until I was in high school.

He spent everyday for 7 years feeding and caring for her at the end of her life when she developed alzheimers. She was in hospital for those years but he went in before breakfast and left after supper, inspite of our objections. (She didn't know anyone for those years,unable to talk or walk. His reply? "She looked after me most of our married life, now I am doing what I can for her."

So.... Thank you for noticing and appreciating what many women do because they care.

[kayrose]

I would say to all.


DO WHAT you feel in your heart , and follow thru

KAyrose

[bebedos]

some women are still insecure enough to object to anything that appears to be a "serving" role.

Thank you, Bluelady, for your eloquent post, and may I say ditto to the above.

[kayrose]

personally I LOVE SERVING A MAN
if he is worth it.

Kayrose

my greatest pleasure was serving my daddy.

[Guest_NippyCheese_*]

I will serve him on a 'Silver Platter' if he gives me a good backrub or better yet a whole body massage.

[Laura]

I will serve him on a 'Silver Platter' if he gives me a good backrub or better yet a whole body massage.

That sounds like a fair deal.

I always said that I will treat a man like a king as long as he treats me like a queen.

[teagranny]

some women are still insecure enough to object to anything that appears to be a "serving" role.

Sure whatever, if it makes you happy thinking that, go fot it

[heatseeker]

I will serve him


And here I thought you served Him.

[bluelady]

Sure whatever, if it makes you happy thinking that, go fot it

................
Actually, I can open doors for myself, and feel no qualms about walking on the outside on the sidewalk, I can use a medium sized chain saw without problems, make and pour cement or build cupboards and put in drawers. I also make a mean seafood casserole and Gateau Ste-Honore and actually crocheted 5 sets of drapes for 4' x 8' windows. I do not see any of those things as gender jobs.

I appreciate, someone opening doors for me and do not feel the least bit ashamed if a man insists on paying for supper and a movie in exchange for my company. I am secure enough to feel, my company is worth it. However, if I feel a man is less able to foot the bill of the meal I wish to order, I will insist on paying for my own.

I like being pampered, just as well as a man does, just not all the time. I am secure enough to go either way, but I know many women aren't. They seem to feel it is demeaning to prepare a nice meal for someone elses pleasure. It might compromise their independence. Some men feel the same way about a woman paying for their own meal & movie on a night out, even if they really can't afford it.

Insecurity runs both ways. I also met one man who would have liked me to pay for his meal. . I just didn't consider being asked out for dinner, should include paying his way!! I put down my money & declared it my share of the bill. My opinion has very little to do with what gives me pleasure. It is experience that has formed it. Widowhood has been a revelation!!

[kayrose]

I think most men would be very embarrassed to
let a women pay for a date.
boy, i wouldnt , couldnt handle that.
kaYROSE,

anyone every had that experience?

[heatseeker]

That made sense when men made a lot more money than women. It makes a lot less sense now.

I don't know what the situation is in other countries, but in Canada, for a while now, women have been getting more education than men at just about every level. This is bound to be reflected in relative earnings and ultimately in dating behaviour.

[kayrose]

That made sense when men made a lot more money than women. It makes a lot less sense now.

I don't know what the situation is in other countries, but in Canada, for a while now, women have been getting more education than men at just about every level. This is bound to be reflected in relative earnings and ultimately in dating behaviour.

still yet , heatseeker,
I don't think most men could accept that.
and besides a woman could go out
with a guy and enjoy
his company without
all the extravangances,
maybe more.
kayrose

[bluelady]

That made sense when men made a lot more money than women. It makes a lot less sense now.

I don't know what the situation is in other countries, but in Canada, for a while now, women have been getting more education than men at just about every level. This is bound to be reflected in relative earnings and ultimately in dating behaviour.

...............
Quite true heatseeker. Furthermore, as we get older, there seem to be fewer persons about who have the health, time and enough money to afford $60. plus once a week for a average meal and a movie for two. $30. to $35. each isn't too much for most. Since I live in the country, the nearest movie house is about 35 miles away. So that means gas for whichever vehicle is taken as well. It is nice to have compatible company for a few hours. Even if the movie or live show turns out to be lousy, it can become a fun topic for quite some time.

Every so often a splurge is in order, something live, like the Cirque de Soleil, a horse show or a concert. But since the tickets for those are close to $100. each, those nights out are fewer and planned ahead of time. To be honest, getting older and learning to live alone has not been all that bad.

[alli_b]

The man who's company I enjoy, we split to cost of our dates many times. It doesn't matter who buys dinner. If I say lets go get dinner I will pay, it may not be elaborate maybe Swiss Chalet, When he asks me out to dinner he will foot the bill with the trimmings. However I do often suggest we do a dessert place en route home.Which I don't mind buying his favorite cheesecake of another dessert. we go Dutch use 2 for 1 coupons. He's retired I'm not working because of my illness.... We have taken a couples gourmet cooking class, We will cook together. Whatever works for you should be what matters. Times have changed when the man foots the bill entirely. Woman burned bras for equal rights well that includes situations with men and women dating practices..

[heatseeker]

I don't think most men could accept that.

They couldn't accept not paying for a woman's company? Oh, I think they could. And do.

[kayrose]

I don't think most men could accept that.

They couldn't accept not paying for a woman's company? Oh, I think they could. And do.

you have now completely lost me,
I was talking about on a date
I DONT thiink a women should pay,

and I believe a man would not allow it.
and im sure most men would be embarrassed
to do that.
KAyrose

[heatseeker]

I was talking about on a date

Me too.

[angora]

Ive paid for nights out for JOhn and me if Im more flush at the time than he is and if it is something I want to do more than he does.

We're partners. I see no problem.

If I were single I would expect the man to pay for me until we had an exclusive and committed relationship and then I would expect to do some of the paying. If he was threatened by that then he would not be the man for me.

This is just an entirely personal view and has nothing to do with men's and women's roles and a lot to do with Judy's views.